When I opened my eyes, I was in a strange room, new room. I had a bad headache; it was very difficult for me to realize where
I was. After some minutes I came to know that I was in hospital, suddenly everything came in front of my eyes and a tear appeared, I closed my eyes.
I had a dream to marry and settle in England, I started work on it to get a boy in England to marry and at last I found, he was good looking, cool minded and really good voice he had. I was crazy about good voices so I started talking to him, he used to call me after every 2 days. I was really very happy in life. He said that he loved me but I said that I did not believe in love before marriage and I would just love my husband. he loved me so much, I thought if I would not love him, Allah would be angry with me so I started love him. He stopped calling me suddenly; I just had his cell no. I called him and he told that he was very busy after some days he started calling me again. He proposed me, told about me to his parents but they said that he should meet me first before taking any decision. I was waiting for him, he was in UK and I was in Pakistan. I was November and he had said that he was coming in December, we made plans, where would we meet, how would we celebrate my birthday etc. I was counting days, just 2 days were left when he sent me an sms that he would come in the end of January but he didn’t come till May he didn’t come. In March, one morning I got an sms from him
“if you ever loved me then please forgive me, yesterday I got engaged myself with my cousin, she is everything for me now. You are not for me and I m not for you. It’s the destiny”
I cried much, after a week I called him, he said that it was his parents decision, they didn’t understand his emotions but he would talk to his cousin she would not marry him if he would tell him that he was interested in someone else so he did it. I trusted in his every word what he said.
Someday I thought I should try his phone no. in Pakistan, he had given me his address and phone no. in Pakistan and also in UK. I was shocked, the no. was not listed. I searched for address and phone no. on net, the address was someone else’s. I had his landline no. he had said that he lived in Salisbury, I had his address in Salisbury, I sent him cards but he said, he didn’t get. When I search his no. I came to know that he lived in Swindon not in Salisbury. I used to call him everyday but so many times he didn’t attend my calls. I was still in love with him. I thought not to call him again but he called me and I forgot everything. Every time he said that he would call me that night but he never called whenever he said.
I was really depressed, one nite I called him, he said come online, I waited for him online but he didn’t come online and then I called him again he said that he was busy with my brother in law and he would call me. I was so much upset. He had said that he would just marry me. But he had told many things wrong, I had no grantee that he loved me in reality or not. Everything was seemed wrong. I was mentally upset. I got some sleeping pills and ate them. I was alone in my room, my brother came into my room to get something, he saw I was fainted on floor, he tried to awake me but I didn’t. my friend’s father was a doctor, he called him. I was unconscious. I didn’t know what happened; I could just remind that Dr. was giving slaps and saying not to sleep.
Today I have just awaken, I am alive. He doesn’t even know what I had done. I am really stupid. Why I did all this because of him? He doesn’t deserver to be loved as madly. I am saying all this but I know whenever he will call me, I will talk to him as I used to talk. I will again start loving him.
I still pray for his success and health. I still love him so much and waiting for him. I will not call him. He will come to Pakistan and I am sure that he will call me. May be he is not liar and will marry me. I have nothing except hope.
What you suggest? I should leave him or keep waiting and loving him?